1.I never admit defeat. However, on an unrelated topic, I’m never getting off this bed again.
2.That’s a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there were two thousand people in this apartment right now, would be we celebrating? No! We’d be suffocating!
3.Research Journal, Entry One. I’m about to embark on one of the great challenges of my scientific career – teaching Penny physics. I’m calling it Project Gorilla.
4.Here. That’s college rules. I hope that’s not too intimidating.
5.That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and that makes me sad.
6.Oh, on the contrary. I found the Grinch to be a relatable, engaging character, and I was really with him. Right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention and returned the presents and saved Christmas... what a buzz kill.
7.Jesus, on the other hand, was actually born in the summer. His birthday was moved to coincide with the traditional pagan holiday that celebrated the winter solstice with lit fires and slaughtered goats, which, frankly, sounds like more fun than twelve hours of church with my mother followed by fruitcake.
8.What I want is to be departing the Starship Enterprise in a one man shuttlecraft, headed to the planetoid I rule known as Sheldon Alpha Five.
9.If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?
10.I don’t say anything. I merely offer you a facial expression that suggests you’ve gone insane.