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第八届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

来源:搜狐教育
2011年04月12日17:05

  Volunteer — A bridge to Friendship

  金倩男

  辽宁省本溪市本溪市高级中学高三15班

  In recent years, “volunteer” become a more and more popular word among people all over the world, especially in China. Thanks to so many volunteers can we made so many events smoothly. In a nutshell, I think volunteer is a bridge to friendship between people to people and country to country.

  Volunteers can be a bright light to those who are in the dark difficulty. A case in point is the May 12 earthquake. The earthquake left thousands of homeless people, causihg a big problem to both the country and the victims themselves. It's them — the light brhger — volunteers, who came to the front line, so that the victims can see the bright future.

  Volunteer actions are of tremendous benifits not only to the people in need, but also to the society. According to a latest survey, there are about 1,700,700 people took part in the volunteering jobs. But for their great devotion, we couldn't have held the 2008 Olympic Games successfully.

  Volunteers believes that the happiest people in the world are those help to bring hapiness to others. People in other countries see the volunteer spirt in the organisational ability and the individual charmihg.

  The world witness the spread spirit of Chinese volunteers. Only in the way that all the nations unit together, offering help to each other can we do wonders and creat a harmonous society. And what's more, we should encourage more youths join such good things.

  In the end, we can come to an conclusion that volunteer work is a bridge to friendship, which does benifits to both the individuals and the nation. So, let's join it today, OK?

  专家建议:

  建议作者写作文要尽量做到言之有物。写作文是为了表达观点,不能被“语言”绑架;运用较多的词汇与搭配却在逻辑方面很混乱,没有设计好要交代的内容。希望作者平时进一步扩充英语阅读量,多读权威英语报刊,有意识地观察好的英语文章是如何兼顾内容充沛,语言到位,逻辑清晰的。

  专家点评:

  文章的主题既然是“志愿者活动——友谊之桥”,就要围绕志愿者与友谊来写,可文章二至五段都没有紧扣住主题。而且段与段之间没有衔接,给人感觉是没有构思好,想到哪写到哪。建议以后写作前先列好提纲,注重文章宏观的把握。

  

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