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第八届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

来源:搜狐教育
2011年04月12日17:05

  Anyone, anytime

  韩心悦

  吉林省长春市长春市十一高中高二23班

  As we all know, plants cannot exist without sunshine; fish cannot live without water; and our society cannot be everlasting without volunteers. In the modern society, volunteer work is not something which requires money and knowledge anymore. It's about all of us Anyone, anytime.

  Volunteer is a kind of spirit, it can bring love to everyone, everything. I remember I once went to Dichuan Province during my summer holidays, and I volunteered to help the giant pandas. One day, our 200 recepted a group of children who came from poverty-striken areas. They all seemed quite excited after they saw the lovely pandas. A little boy, however, frowned, ran towards me and whispened, “I want to help. Look at their home, it's not tidy enough. I want to clean it for them.” I was totally shocked, A boy who was in great need of helping himself actually wanted to help animals Words bursted out, “But honey, you are still too young!” He shrinked his eyes, and grinned, “Anyone, anytime.”

  Dince then, “Anyone, anytime.” has become my motto. Whenever I saw rubbish on the ground, I would pick it up; whenever I saw people try to step on the grass, I would persuade them. Because I know, I'm part of the harmonious society. Harmonious society, everyone contains.

  Right, harmonious society needs our volunteers. Volunteer work can make us realiz the nesponsibilites on oun shoulder, it can make us much more mature. Do, if we all have a kind of volunteen spirit, the well-being of invividuals, families, communitles and the world can all be promoted. Take a good look at those volunteers Ouring the 2008 Beijing Olympic Garnes, and those figures running beside the ruins of Wenchuan Earthquake. Volunteers' spirit not only touched the Chinese people, but also generated worldwide attention. In a nutshell, volunteer work is of great significance.

  Do, let's staw up together, hand in hand, join the orchestra of harmony, stant from the “Volunteen epilogne”, creat a new beautiful world. And the name of this orchestra will be: “Anyone, anytime.”

  专家建议:

  很显然,该考生在文章的结构设置以及语言积累方面都有待提高,建议该考生平时进一步拓宽阅读面,在阅读同时有意识地积累语言的表达法,并且注意模仿优秀英语文章是如何组织结构的。

  专家点评:

  文章通过小故事托出主题的方式很新颖,文章整体也有一定逻辑关系。但应该把重点放在后面对volunteer的段落中,并适当减少第二段的字数,以起到抛砖引玉的作用而非头重脚轻。另外,文章出现多处搭配问题,建议平时注重基础的积累。

  

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