搜狐网站
教育频道 > 基础教育 > 2011高考_高考成绩查询_高考查分_高考录取分数线 > 第十届创新英语大赛 > 创新英语大赛

第八届全国创新英语作文大赛优胜作文选登

来源:搜狐教育
2011年04月12日17:05

  

  Volunteer work is necessary

  郭昕硕

  河北省衡水市衡水中学高三3班

  There is no doubt that volunteer work in China has been brought into focus throughout the world. We presented so much last year, which indeed gave the world a big surprise. Our spirits, our merits, everything we showed during the grand gathering and the disaster proved that volunteer work is necessary.

  As far as I am concerned. The work of helping others without payment can be of great benefit for individuals. Apart from the experience, the progress we make during the process is enough. Time permitting, we can take more responsibility outside the school and gain the pleasure.

  Everyone builds our society. With the economical development, we are no longer worry about our essential needs in our life. Therefore, tospare more time and to give others a helping hand can just be the right choice. Only by this means can we get to know each other better and make contributions to our society.

  Moreover, it is certain that there are still so many developing countries all over the world. From Ethiopia to DPRK, too many people are in badly demand of help. Our gerosity and warth means a lot. Furthermore, organization of all kinds about volunteer work will surely accelerate the process.

  Taking the above-mentioned factors into consideration. Raising our owareness and be helpful can definitely be so necessary. The connection between us must be permanent with our efforts of volunteer work. Therefore volunteer work is not only a political world, but a lively work related to you and me. So it stands to reason that volunteer work is necessary.

  专家建议:

  建议作者多阅读整篇的英语文章,增强自己的“篇章感“,因为在该篇文章中存在的问题主要是段落见缺乏紧密联系,所以造成各段之间的孤立感的形成,建议作者以后写作时注意段落间的合理过渡。

  专家点评:

  整体结构很好,尤其第一段开门见山的明确了文章的主题,给读者非常好的第一印象。唯一不足的是第三段与上文的衔接很生硬,并且没有段落主题句,会影响文章整体的逻辑感。另外,有个别句子出现表意不明的现象,单词拼写也存在问题,所以希望以后写作时注意细节。

  

[上一页] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [下一页]
(责任编辑:卜范龙)
  • 分享到:
上网从搜狗开始
网页  新闻

我要发布

中国教育培训库 找学校 找课程

近期热点关注
网站地图

时尚文化中心

搜狐 | ChinaRen | 焦点房地产 | 17173 | 搜狗

实用工具