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There was an old married couple that had happily lived together
for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was
caused by
the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he
awoke.
The noise would always awake up his wife and the smell would cause
her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly
every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in
the morning. He told her that he couldn't help it.
She begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done
but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just
a natural bodily function and then he would laugh in her face
as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands.
She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he
didn't stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts(肠子)out." The
years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the husband
continued to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out"
until one Thanksgiving morning.
Before dawn, the wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast.
She fixed pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, gravy and of course a
turkey. While she was taking out the turkey's innards(内脏) a thought
occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband's problem.
With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts into
a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her flatulent(胃涨气的)
husband would awake. While he was still soundly asleep, she pulled
back the covers and then gently pulled back her husband's jockey
shorts.
She then placed all of the turkey guts into her husband's underwear,
pulled them up, replaced the covers and tiptoed back downstairs
to finish preparing the family meal. Several hours later she heard
her husband awake with his normal loud ass trumpeting. This was
soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic
foot steps as her husband ran to the upstairs bathroom.
The wife could not control herself and her eyes began to tear
up as she rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting
up with him she had finally gotten even. About twenty minutes
later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants
with a look of horror in his eyes. She bit her lip to keep from
laughing and she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right--all those years you warned me
and I didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that I would end up farting my guts
out one of these days and today it finally happened. But by the
grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got 'em all back
in."
摘自若亚教育网
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